My Confessions to Yours!

Have you seen anyone whom you admire in your workplace. Someone who looks way ahead of you in every possible aspect you could think of. Smarter, Beautiful, Extraordinary or Achiever . I sat with that person today one to one. Strange enough, we don't want that to happen. Do we? 

What happened to me? I exploded exactly like you could have. My pen fell out of my hand continually, my coffee, burnt my lips every time I sip it and my heart, felt PAIN . The pain of something I don't know or someone I know. In those 60 minutes my inner voice was shivering and my body continually moving. It was at this moment I realized it had been that way all my life! 

In those moments I couldn't hear what the speaker was saying, but could hear my own voice that remained unheard for a very long time. I regained myself and asked what is that makes me look up to him, Is it that position he holds in the company? Or the body? Or do I even know him that better to admire him? If I don't know him so well, why do I look up to him?? YOU DON'T!! I don't. 

I don't look up to him or anyone else in the room but myself. I always ,continuously look at myself, watching every tiny mistake I ever made and cursing myself for the things that I don’t do enough! In all parts of me, I ,almost always forget myself. I never ever gave myself the freedom to make mistakes leave alone embracing. 

Am I the only one ? Aren’t we all alike, we have wasted our night growling over anxiety , doubting our own self. We're all faulty beings and needless to say we make mistake. We all are a combination of our choices, our mistakes, our struggles, our dreams, our strengths and our weakness but we fail to love all parts of us. There are several instances where we feel low or not confident or anxious or even smiling need efforts. 

In trying to keep with every other person even the virtual ones, we have forgotten the real reason we are doing it. The constant desire to be accepted by others and an immense lack of being comfortable in our own skin has made us look upon ourselves worth disdain. The lack of self love has cost us relations, mental health, physical health and in many cases, our dreams. 

Self- love is when you love yourself enough to make mistakes, to have flaws and still respect the person you are. When you start loving yourself then you realize that it’s you, who is responsible for your happiness not your parents or friends or partner. So, stop looking for acceptance in other people, accept yourself. 

Some people are not randomly, but very thoughtfully placed around us to remind us to be focused and to listen to the voice and cherish our flaws. Now I look at his face, he too seems to be in thoughts looking at someone, someone like me again.

Author: Neha

Rotaract Club Of Mohali

RID 3080